The Search For The Last Goose.

When Top Gun came out, I was 8 years old.
It was a great year for movies.

Ferris Buellers Day Off.
The Fly.
The Labyrinth.
!Three Amigos!
Big Trouble In Little China.

I don’t recall exactly when I first saw Top Gun, or if at the time it had the extraordinary magical qualities that Stand By Me or Aliens had.

Maybe it did.

But looking back at it now, ’cause I will definitely not ruin my memories by seeing it again, it was definitely truly filled to the gills with sweet movie magic.

It was, nay it is, The Harry Potter of fighter pilot movies.

*Disclaimer: Actual Harry Potter movies bear little resemblance to Top Gun.*

Maverick is the one.
And Iceman is like Ron, if Ron was bit of a dick.
Or is Iceman Hermione?

The magic is the technology and the wizards are the pilots who wield that technology.
The Slytherin side of the argument is a bit poorly presented in Top Hogwarts Gun, but #nolove4thewicked I suppose.

It’s an ode to being emotionally eleven years old, reckless, yet somehow still super competent.
Flying jets way too fast and low, picking up teachers older than you & playing beach volley like a sex object.
That’s the trifecta right there: put that on any CV, apply to any job & you are hired, or at least that is what my inner teenager still thinks to this day.

Top Gun 2 comes out sometime next year and it should definitely be titled ”Goose Hunt”. Or maybe just go full french with ”Chasse à l’Oie”.

But what to do with it, plot-wise?

It could be modeled after Rambo 4 – when you’re pushed, flying & killing is as easy as breathing.
A tad too dark?

Maybe have it start with some army general approaching Maverick about one last mission, to which M replies ”Why me, why not use the regular air force?”.
Then behind the bar – the scene has to be set in a Budweiser infested den of americana – the voice of say a Michael B. Jordan says ”because some damn fool accused you of being the best!”.
The scene ends with Maverick asking Michael B: ”Do we get win this time?”. Michael looks confused.
”But we always win. Even ’nam… was a tie. But, I mean, I guess… this time it’s up to you?”.

Or maybe go the other way & make the viewer doubt Mavericks sanity with subtle hints.
Like eating a goose heavy diet.

”I believe he lives in limbo, as a bird, a real bird, a goose, maybe a duck, karma is so mysterious man. I gotta set him free dude, hunt down every
last goose, eat them, all of them & set his spirit free. Foie Gras man, Beijing Duck baby…”.
”So basically you’re just imbuing eating really good bird dishes with the weird extra flavor of helping your dead friend..?”. ”
”Exactly! It has a really spiritual feel to it. I feel awesome. More foie, friend?”.

Maverick having a basement full of miniature models based on the Top Gun volleyball game. Each sequence of movements meticulously crafted on a different model. Scene soundtracked with a really sad remake of Danger Zone, the song now titled Has Been Zone.

Maverick saying ”I’m an excellent driver” from time to time.

*Pssst, filmmakers, just add Denzel. He’s about the same age as Tom. And cooler than a 20 year old hunk of prime fighter pilot meat*.

All this is of course well & good, but a question still haunts Top Gun 2 like a voice-over from Goose saying ”sometimes death is better”:
Is Tom still hot?

I did the research and as far as I can tell Vanilla Sky is the last known sighting of hot Tom.


What he lacks in being hot he makes up in stunt competence.
Take a look at the latest M:I. Then take a look at that plane sequence in Flight.
Turn that up to 11, replace the Airbus with a jet & you will understand how being competent gently kicks those hot volleyball players with a boot.

I will definitely see Top Gun 2 no matter what form the movie takes.

Just like I would see Ferris Buellers 35 years of unemployment feat. John Daniels.
’cause when you’ve known him as long as Ferris, you get to call him John.

My only & last wish is that while Tom is still Tom they make a movie featuring Maverick, Ethan Hunt & that vampire using the same tech that they used to make the Winkelvosses come to life.

Until then, if anyone needs me, I’ll be there on the dance floor, you know the place, the danger zone… for cool dance moves.


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